


Change

by DaisyFairy



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Accepting John, First Kiss, Insecure Sherlock, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-08 03:50:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13449933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaisyFairy/pseuds/DaisyFairy
Summary: Sherlock has always been asked by people around him to change, but will John Watson be any different?





	Change

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Sherlock Challenge January 2018 prompt - Change.

If one thing has been constant in Sherlock Holmes' life it is being told that he needs to change. He needs to be nicer, he needs to be more attentive to his teachers, he needs to make more friends, he needs to shut the hell up, he needs to not be a nosey prick or he’ll get his head kicked in. 

He has gone through phases of trying to follow these suggestions, as a small boy he tried his best to do what Mummy and Daddy suggested, to make friends, be good, but it was just so hard. No one understood the way he thought and everything was so boring. He just couldn’t help himself, he would end up showing off, or doing something that everyone labelled “inappropriate” and then he was back to being the freak. He soon gave up, why bother trying to change, it never worked and having fledgling friendships fall apart was more painful than never having friends in the first place.

So he railed against the suggestions, every time he was told to change it made him more determined not to, more solidified into his facade he put up that he didn’t even need human connection. The insults, the demands from classmates at school and later university were completely ignored, those from family vehemently rejected, even if deep down he knew his family had his best interests at heart. It was hopeless, this was who he was and he would never be able to change.

The drugs made things easier for a while. As long as he could pay, the dealers didn’t mind too much how he acted, but that was mostly because he spent most of the time too high to deduce the details of their lives. They allowed his brain to slow down enough to just...be. Not desperate for stimulation or inundated by every little detail of everyone’s lives he could just sit and drift. It was so restful. But his family kept intervening, and after the second overdose he had to privately admit that maybe their constant nagging to change yet another part of himself, to stop taking drugs, was for the best. Still, the lure of them was so hard to give up it was only when he discovered crime solving that he was able to replace the drugs with a new addiction. 

The Work became his new high. He could use the way his brain worked to help people, and a few, a very few, seemed to actually like him for it. Most clients and police would use him and his mind to solve their cases then shuffle off complaining about how he was too rude, too strange, too comfortable with the macabre. There were exceptions, Mrs Hudson, Gregory Lestrade and Angelo, they still made demands but it took a little while for Sherlock to realise that these changes were not in their own interests but in his. They were asking him to make changes to better his own life, not theirs, in a way that until now only family had done. Of course he still largely ignored them, they didn’t understand that most of what they were asking for was impossible, but it was nice, he hadn’t yet pushed them away the way he had his family so he could enjoy their care even if he knew they would soon give up.

Then the miraculous occurred. John Watson came into his life. This man never really asked Sherlock to change at all. He thought it funny when Sherlock insulted people, he was just as interested in the bizarre cases as Sherlock was and all his admonishments about body parts and experiments were half hearted at best. Even the head in the fridge only made John angry for a moment, the initial shock causing a shot of adrenaline to the system, but then he accepted it and let it drop. Sherlock was amazed, even he had to admit that was perhaps a step too far, and maybe, just maybe, he had been testing John a little to see if he would snap and demand Sherlock change some fundamental part of himself. Still nothing. Ok, so they bickered, and John seemed rather concerned that he didn’t know anything about the solar system, but that was it. Such a minor thing and later, in his private moments, Sherlock found himself tempted to actually learn about space for John.

They lived together, worked together, even laughed together, and John still accepted him. Demands for change were few, and more often than not Sherlock found himself at least attempting to comply. It took a while for Sherlock to realise the difference. John asked him to change his behaviours, but never who he was. He wouldn’t say, “Don’t do experiments.” it was “Do them safely”. Rather than, “Don’t be rude about people.” It was “Tell me what you’ve seen so we can laugh about it, but keep your voice down.” 

Sherlock had finally found someone who saw who he was on the inside, and didn’t want him to change at all. 

There was one final part to reveal, one more truth about himself to share, and Sherlock was terrified that this would be the thing that John would reject. He tried to hide it, but in the face of John’s acceptance it would not stay hidden. 

So he screwed up his courage and kissed John in the kitchen one morning while John was waiting for his tea to steep. He held his breath, waited to be told no, but then John kissed back with enthusiasm and showed that even this side of Sherlock was accepted, appreciated, craved, desired and, as the tea stewed and cooled on the counter, thoroughly, vigorously and passionately enjoyed.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this makes sense, I wrote it quite quickly and I'm not 100% sure about it.
> 
> I have no idea how to tag this so if you have any ideas please let me know.


End file.
